Flirting Without Speaking, Part 7

Facial expressions, as I wrote in the last article, play a pivotal role in your success in flirting. In this article, I’ll show how touching is just as important a part of flirting, and how it’s the ultimate gauge of success!

I’m sure you’ve been in this situation: your are talking to an attractive young lady, and she calmly puts her hand on your arm, staring into your eyes. The effect can be exhilarating.

And the best part of it is – this type of touching can have a dramatic effect on women too!

Touching is a much evolved form of communication that has a surprising range of signals it can communicate – greeting, camaraderie, affection and agreement are just a few of the things that are communicated. The one we want to focus on, however, is attraction!

The first rule when it comes to touching is this: caution. A touch at the right time can be overwhelmingly powerful. At the wrong time it’ll ruin your chance with the woman right out the gate.

After making your approach and beginning the conversation with the person of interest, a great way to touch is on the arm. The key is timing – it has to be done at the right time or you’ll definitely get a “rejection notice’ – she’ll recoil, or show signs of anxiety.

How do you know the right time? It comes down to having good rapport. Assess the situation: is she mirroring you? Are you engaged in other flirtatious behavior? If so, proceed, and if not, continue to gauge her interest.

Touching her on the arm will let you know where you stand. Watch for anxiety or any other negative response. If you get one, it’s probably over. Hey, at least you didn’t waste your time.

If there is a positive response, this is great! Continue!

So what do you do next? Allow the other parts of flirting to escalate – your gesture, eye movements, and keep smiling. After that, REPEAT the hand touch.

This is important. It acts as a guide – is the interest still high? And you’ll send an unconscious signal to her – it is akin to saying “are you sure?”

If she responds well, you can move on. And it’s doubtful that she’ll respond in the negative. It might just be not as positive as it was earlier – if that happens, tone things down again and try again later.

If it’s positive again, you can amp it up to something far more powerful… touching her hand. It’s far more powerful than a touch on the arm. If THIS action is positive… then it is safe to assume that you are doing VERY well. If not, then back off, tone things down.

If she was positive to the arm touches, and not the hand touch, then generally you escalated too fast. The key too making sure that doesn’t happen is with emotional/physical tension and arousal.

Build it with other ways of flirting, like you were earlier. You can also physically brush against her with her body. If she’s doing that to you herself, it’s another great sign.

If she responds well to a hand touch, gauge from there. Moving closer is probably okay. And as before, REPEAT the touch. After that, you have been given enough signals to know that you are heading in the right direction with your flirting.

In a nutshell, if it happens… she’s probably yours!

Practice this way of touching! It’s key to your success in flirting, and in turn, with women in general.

In the upcoming article, I’ll be covering the importance of vocal signals, how they effect other people, and how we can use this to our advantage! It will conclude our series on non verbal flirting.

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